In which I almost break up with running...

I wanted to do my long run on Saturday. Everything told me I should do my long run Saturday. I was still so close to my yucky run on Thursday. I was sick Wednesday. I really should have done it Saturday.

But, my husband said he would be busy and wouldn't be able to watch the kids on Saturday. I knew my only chance was to take a little longer lunch on Friday and do it then.

I decided to run 10K, since I had gone up to 10 miles a week ago, and was scheduled to go down a bit.

This girl was so optimistic..

I started the run outside. I knew it would be hot, but I wasn't sure if my new Nike+ would work inside, and I really wanted to use it. (Guess what. It doesn't).

I got hot. I started to count steps, seconds until I could take a break (I had planned run 5/walk 1). My ankles were hurting. My hips were hurting. My legs were heavy. At about 1 mile, I decided to run to the gym and do the rest inside. At 2.25, with the GPS saying I had only done 1.34, I decided to cut off the GPS and do it manually.

I stretched a bit, drank some water, and decided that I would just run 30 minutes. Easy 30 minutes. I can totally do 30 minutes, right?

I couldn't even do one lap.

(Oh, and then I weighed for the first time in 2 weeks, and I weigh EXACTLY THE SAME. That was probably not a good move for the morale).

I walked back to my office almost in tears. "It's just too hard", I thought. "I can't take care of 2 kids, a house, a career, and be a runner. I'm exhausted." I really tried to have a pity party...

But, instead of having an all out pity party (I did have a short one), I decided to just be realistic:

1. I was sick this week.
2. I really shouldn't have run Friday.
3. It was a bad week in a lot of ways. Monday started bad, and it was bad until Friday afternoon. You're not going to have the best runs of your life.
4. Running 10 miles last Friday may have been too much too soon.

So, looking back, realistically, it's no wonder I didn't have a great run AT ALL this week.

I've found that lately, even during my "short" runs, I'm really struggling not to take a walk break. I feel like I should go back to shorter distances. My "long" runs, with the walk breaks, may be messing me up. But, I don't have time to start over- I have a race in 6 weeks. I have to be able to do 13.1 miles in 6 weeks, and I want to do it in less than 2:30.

Here's where I start thinking of the plan:

Next week, I will cross train. I will do 2 short runs of 2 miles each, probably on Tuesday and Thursday, working on going without stopping. On Saturday, I'll do 6 miles with a Walk 4/Run 1. That's all. That will put me 5 weeks out from the race.

I'll gradually increase the short runs and do no more than 3 miles, 3 times a week until the race. On Saturdays I'll work up to 10 miles again with walk breaks. (4:1 or maybe 5:1).

After the race is over, I'll work up to running 30- 45 minutes at a time 4 days a week. Then I'll start training for the Nashville Women's Half.

I am going to keep the faith, because I know the feeling of a great run, and I'm determined to have that again. But running, I think you and me need a break. You're not being good to me right now..

The lonely runner.. photo from Microsoft Office Online