I've been going through some stuff. Stuck in a dead end job. Looking for a new one. Feeling frustrated. Needing change.
In my life, I've had the following jobs:
Preschool music teacher
Group Exercise Coordinator
Group Exercise Instructor
(I have also waited tables, but I was just awful at that, so I don't count it... much...)
So, it took me a while to decide what I wanted to be when I grow up.
I love being a librarian, but I'm not very valued at my current job. I don't make as much money as the national standard for librarians with two master's degrees.
I loved being a group exercise coordinator, but it wasn't enough money to do just that.
I love teaching group exercise, but can't do it 40 hours a week.
So, I'm thinking, with all these different skills I have, I should be able to do what I love AND feed my family (and maybe even consider paying off the student loan I accrued getting all these skills...)
I would call the place I am now *uncomfortable*. I'm "in between". I don't like it. I'm a control freak. I like to know exactly what I'm going to be doing, when I'm going to be doing it.
But I finished my workout today and was walking back to my office. The song "This is your life" came on.
Here's the song if you don't know it:
And you know, I got a little emotional. The words got to me:
"This is your life. Are you who you want to be?"
It is. It *is* my life. I don't get another chance. Is this who I want to be?
Part of me feels really lost, but part of me kind of knows who I want to be.
I want to be someone who is remembered for helping other people.
I want to be remembered for making them laugh, making them feel happier, making them feel they can do anything.
I want to be kind. I want to see good in people.
I want to show people they are capable of things they never thought they could do.
So, I know what the right choice is. Is it the choice that's going to make me rich? Probably not. Is it going to mean I might have to have a "job" as well as a "vocation"? Maybe.
But I only have one chance. I'm 38 years old and it's time to decide.